100 TRUTHS

1. Real name: Vanessa S. Jose
2. Nickname: “Yshing”; Vanz,Love,VJ
3. Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
4. Male or female: Female
5. Elementary School: Good Shepherd Chinese School
6. High School: ZHNSH
7. College: Adamson University
9. tall or short: Tall – almost. lol
11. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans
12. Phone or Camera: Both (can’t lIVE without cellphone; I’m always in demand.)
13. Health freak: No.
14. Orange or Apple: Orange
15. Do you have a crush on someone? Hell yeah
16. Eat or Drink: Eat. Not A good Drinker many says.
17. Piercings: Ears.
18. Pepsi or Coke: Coke.

HAVE YOU EVER?

19. Been in an airplane: yeah. Always.
20. Been in a relationship: yup.
21. Been in a car accident: yup. But not much harm done. Just got bruises.
22. Been in a fist fight: yup. Way back in my elementary days.
23. First piercing: ahmm. When I was a lil’ baby.
24. First best friend: My Dog. How Weird.
25. First award: Got my Nintendo Gadgets and lots of tapes.
26. First crush: David Eugene Spore Jr. (Neighbor)
27. First word: How can I ever remember?! Damn!
29. Last person you talked to in person: My ex?
30. Last person you texted: This day? Mom.
31. Last person you watched a movie with: at the theater? William Casabar. A close friend of Mine.
32. Last food you ate: Master Siomai’s Best.
33. Last movie you watched: Recently, 30 days of night: Dark Days
34. Last song you listen to: My Heart (Paramore)
35. Last thing you bought: Pillows (The big ones)
36. Last person you hugged: Norilie Francisco (My long lost friend.

FAVE:

37. Food: Love soup,noodles,sizzling sisig at Hooray?, Pizza, clubhouse,crispy pata.
38. Drinks: I don’t go much on softdrinks, I prefer fruit juice/shake or iced tea.
39. Bottoms: pants,shorts
40. Flower: Dead Rose (lol) Not fond on flowers.
41. Animal: Dogs,cats
42. Colors: Deep Blue, Wine red? , violet and hues (Black&White)
43. Movies: Comedy-Romance (Apparatus), Cyberpunks, Autuer films? hehe
44. Subjects: Art Appreciation, Film Theories, Drama class, Music (how I wish)

(Put an X in the brackets if yes)

45. [X] fallen in love with someone.
46. [ ] celebrated Halloween.
47. [X ] had your heart broken.
48. [x] went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone.
49. [X ] had someone question my sexual orientation. (too funny those girls had crush on me lol)
51. [ ] got pregnant.
52. [ ] had an abortion.
53. [X] did something I regret.
54. [X] broke a promise.
55. [X] hid a secret.
56. [x] pretended to be happy.
57. [X] met someone who changed your life.
58. [ ] pretended to be sick.
59. [ ] left the country.
60. [X] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it.
61. [X] cried over the silliest thing.
62. [ ] ran a mile.
63. [ ] went to the beach with your best friend.
64. [X] got into an argument with your friends.
65. [X] hated someone.
66. [X] stayed single for a whole year.

CURRENTLY:

67. Eating: Piknik (ketchup Fries)
68. Drinking: Not much.
69. Listening: yeah.
70. Sitting/Laying: Sitting
71. Plans for today: Finish all the goddamn works.
72. Waiting: for demons to pick me up and parttyyy. lol

YOUR FUTURE:

73. Want kids?: Yes. (2 most likely)
74. Want to get married?: Yes definitely. (Mom would kill me If I don’t)
75. Career: Services Department Head and Currently Teaching, Center Registrar (multi-tasking effect)

WHICH IS BETTER IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?:

76. Lips or eyes: BOTH
77. Shorter or taller: TALLER.
78. Romantic or spontaneous?: Both
79. Nice stomach or nice arms?: Both
81. Hook-up or relationship?: Relationship
82. Looks or personality?: Both? heehe
HAVE YOU EVER:

83. Lost glasses/contacts: Yep. A lot of times.
84. Snuck out of a house: yes and get caught.
85. Held a gun/knife for self defense: nope
86. Killed somebody: wish I could but I’m harmless.
87. Broken someone's heart: No comment. I guess I don’t do that?. (demon Smile)
88. Been in love: yeah! Why wouldn’t I?
89. Cried when someone died: yup!



DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

90. Yourself: Yes, you should be trusting yourself first.
91. Miracles: Nah.
92. Love at first sight: Nah. Crush at first sight?
93. Heaven: YEAH!!
94. Santa Clause: No. (Parents yes.)
95. Sex on the first date: Won’t even have thoughts on that.(mY mom raised me well.) lol
96. Kiss on the first date: Yes. (cheek?) it’s normal.

TRUTHFULLY:

97. Is there one person you want to be with right now?: Nope.
98. Do you know who your real friends are?: yup!
99. Do you believe in God?: YEAH!
100. Post as 100 truths? ----------------------------------. Wink.

Resist

Consider me gone by morning.
I know what you want, so I won't hang around
As you let me down.
I'd consider you wrong but I'm the fool
To keep letting you come around
Just to let me down.
And I let it get this far.
But you had me from the start.
Feels like a lifetime in fact.
Still we keep coming back.


It's the same routine, just a different scene.
And I don't believe in resisting.
It's the same old stunt, just a different month.
And you've noticed that I can't resist.
Can't get over this.
I'll see you around, next time you let me down.

I don't expect a response my darling
After you get what you want, so I won't wait around
For you to let me down.
So I put up these walls my darling
And I say that I'm done, but you know better now
You'll still let me down.
I don't see this getting better, going anywhere
Cause I've always been in way too deep,
And you know me better.
I'm bad at this whole resisting thing.


It's easier to make mistakes, than to make you stay away.
It's easier for my heart to break, than to feel nothing.
It's better to let you be a fake, for one night
I will close my eyes,
And pretend like I don't die a little inside.


(And I don't believe in resisting.
Just different month, that I fell in love.
Get me over this. But I can't resist.)

So I put up these walls my darling,
And I say that I'm done, but you know better now
You'll still let me down.

Here's to the Heartbreaker

LYRICS:

You think that it is over
When did it ever begin?
Don't pretend like he was ever interested.
He may have had you fooled by
The way he looked into your eyes
But no he really looked right through,
Through it all.
He could swear he never meant it,
Act like you're overreacting.
But he's the tool
Who shouldn't have been acting,
How are they the one's attracting us?

Here's to the heartbreakers
Who are so good at
Hiding all the evidence of them pretending
All along who were we kidding?
I could find a man and not a boy
Yeah you'll see what you're missing.
Yes I'm fine now, thanks for asking..
Here's to the fakers
Here's to the heartbreakers!

You try to play his games but
Then you're the one who's being confusing,
He'll keep using that old line.
You could just tell me you don't have the time.
But no, you wanna leave me hanging
What's the point in all of my waiting?
I'm the one who's noticing you,
Guess that makes me obsessed with you.
I turn your flaws into beauty,
And you're seeing this as a bad thing.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah well, you're the one who'll be missing me.

Here's to the heartbreakers
Who are so good at
Keeping us around while still
Keeping our confidence down.
Do you feel as if you own me?
I could find a man and not a boy.
Yeah you'll see what you're missing.
Yes I'm fine now, thanks for asking.
Here's to the takers,
Here's to the heartbreakers!

This is the story of a girl
Who builds her own thoughts.
She has the faith that he'll be more,
Than what she only thinks she wants.
She's seen the bitter truth, but when
Someone is looking right at you.
It's hard to see through the lying eyes,
When you're mesmerized, yeah I'm mesmerized.

Well you'll never own me.
You'll never even have me.
Yeah, cause I could find a man and not a boy.
Yes you'll soon see what you're missing.
Did you get what you came for?
Yeah, you're a heartbreaker.
Let me give you a little more.
You know who you are, this one's for you.

“Spell it out, NOT”- Own composition

July 14’08
Composition: “Spell it out, NOT”
Composer: Vanz – “the bassist”

Description:

The arrangement invites participation as it breaks down the walls between superficial self and you’re an imaginary thought that leads a conflict of a critical feeling of conjecture. Everybody needs to hear positive things about themselves but sometimes it is not being heard. One of the simplest parts of human communication is also often the hardest - good listening.

This song based on a warm chant remixes of a dramatic symphony. The driving bass and calm acoustic rhythm reinforce the compelling message of the refrain: "All I see is you”.

Lyrics/Chords

Intro:
G#m plucking (harmony)

(G – Gm7)

I’m cold here.
So cold
When I’m not with you
When I’m not with you

Are you there?
Just tell me you’re there
Oohh-oohh

You’re all I ever wanted
You’re all I ever needed
O-ooh 0-ooh-ohhohh

Ref: all I see is you…

Chorus:
So, I’m crying here, I need you.
I’m lying here, how I missed you.
I miss you so much, alone.

Bass Drive (A-E)
(G – Gm7)

Are you there? Are you there?
Take me to where you are.

Repeat Refrain&Chorus

Bridge: Bass Drive (A-E)

Look at me. Look at me.

G#m plucking (harmony)

Do you see me?
Can you feel me?

You don't die enough to cry.

Everything in life is connected somehow. You may have to dig deep to find it but its there. Everything is the same even though it’s different. Somehow everything connects back with your life. The faces in certain places may be different, but the situation is the same. Irony is a hidden factor that creeps around us in life, letting its presence felt only after it has left. Picture back to a year ago and the situation you were in. Look at how things are different yet somehow everything it still in someway cognate. Everything connects together to form the balance of life, to maintain structure. Change is and always will be inevitable, but everything is relative, and all the moments and times in your life will come back around again, you just might find yourself on the other side of the coin. Things are always changing, as fast as everything stays the same.

ME – The Bassist “Indescribable Melodic Trace”


I look at myself, my dark eyes surveyed me with emptiness and a kind of chagrin that reached back generations and generations in my blood from not having done what was crying to be done--whatever it was, and everybody knows what it was. But it seems like nobody’s care at all. NO one even tried.

I felt like sometimes I’m like a mad musician who had paraded on official days and broke up the marches into ragtime, so useless.

My-----My Song, own written masterpieces, are all drafted representation of a truthful speculations of my personal being. Yet, it remains as a written draft, bluntly and rigidly done. Every word I wanted to shout are all being paralyzed, torpid of sending it out broadcast to rock the jazz world.

What difference does it make after all?--anonymity in the world of human is better than fame in heaven, for what's heaven? What’s earth? All in the mind but I don’t mind. Ha-ha-ha so chaotic, a lil’ peculiar side of me.

But…

Every now and then a clear harmonic cry gave new suggestions of a tune that would someday be the only tune in the world and would raise people's souls to joy. Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.

Poser -Punk Rules-

You've probably heard someone say, "Avril Lavigne is such a poser," meaning she's not really punk, but she pretends like she is. Calling someone a poser is the same thing as accusing them of being fake or inauthentic. They may talk the talk, but they don't walk the walk, whether they're trying to be "punk" or "skater" or something else entirely. But the truth i like Avril's Style. The way she'd dressed and the "hate" or "madness" she delivered on her own lyrics are really like -- me. That's why maybe i like her, but i don't conform. (no to idolatry) as belief of a christian being. (i'm a christian, and i claim it). : )

There are different kinds of punk. Punk can be apathetic and reckless, or inspiring and revolutionary. I don't subscribe to the notion of people being labeled punk because that gets tricky. Some people try to be punks but aren't. And then there are the real punks--the kids who aren't embarrassed to raise their hands when they know the right answer, the ones who wear 3-piece suits just for the hell of it. Punk can't be defined by the way you dress or the bands you like. It's about being real and being comfortable with who you are. If you like certain punk bands or dress a certain way then perhaps you are more easily identifiable as a "punk," but to me, that's not a requirement. Once you start putting rules on what's punk, you're defeating the purpose.
Yes, punk is the clothes and the music, but it's mostly the attitude. Loving the individual that you are and not conforming and not cutting other people out for how they are either.

“Pagboboipren”

Psst.
Excuse me po, parang may MALI?!


Ewan ko ba?! Pero ayaw kong magpakadalubhasa sa mga espekulasyon ko tungkol sa pamagat ng nirereklamo ko.
Nakakaasar na kasi, nakakatindig balahibo, minsan. Pero pede naman di ako makialam dba? Kaso gusto ko lang ipahayag ang mga nakikita ko sa mga nakapaligid sa akin. NAMULAT AKO! Nagising sa katotohanan.


Maraming kababaihan ngayon na nabiktima sa sariling kabobohan at katangahan! Pwede na ring KALANDIAN! Diko malaman kung baket karamihan ay halos nilalantad na nila ang mga kaluluwa nila para mapansin lang. Naka-miniskirt nga libagin naman ang tuhod! Parang pinahiran lang ng uling. Ha-ha Meron namang masyadong mababa ang neckline ayon lupay-pay na ang bulubunduking siopao parang tanawin na ng lahat! Pero napanis na pala kasi marami ng nakatikim as usual ang landi.

Bakit naman kasi nagmamadali diba? Panapanahon lang yan! Merong nakatakda para sayo! Kung makapag hintay ka lang sana “BUO” ka pa ngayon, malinis at mukha pang karespeto-respeto. Oh! diba? SUS!

Mga Kategorya:


Para kang straw?!

Mga kababaihan talaga oo! Hinahayaan nilang malunod nalang sila sa isang bahagi ng mundo. Pag di makahaon, sisirain buhay! May pasuntuk-suntok pa sa pader habang tumutulo na sipon sa kakaiyak! Magpunas ka oi!mahiya ka naman! Natural pinasok mo yan dapat mo lang paghandaan at dapat marunong kang umaahon.

Nasaan ang mga paninindigan mo ngyon? Hahayaan mo nalang bang lunurin yun? Parang balewala nlang ba sayo lahat ng mga pinagsasabi mo? Ay! Wag ganun! Wag kang gumaya sa iba. Hinihigop ka lang ng nararamdaman mo. Magtira ka sa sarili mo. Wag mo hayaang isang “softdrinks” sa plastik ka lang, pagkatapos mahigop, ayon itatapon kahit saan! MAGMUMULTA KA sa MMDA nyan eh!



Hoy! Feeling Prinsesa ka!

Dati naman okey ka na sa shirts at jeans? Ung secure ka kung san ka pumupunta, ung di ka conscious kahit sino nakakatingin sayo kasi wala namang kabastus-bastos na tanawin sayo. Dati rin pulbo lang pinapahid mo sa mukha mo! Ngayon putek! Para ka ng natatae na nagpipigil sa pula ng mukha mo eh! Umayos ka nga!

Tapos sa kalye, hala sige! Kung makakapit ka para kang unggoy! Hoy! Di puno yan! Tapos eto pa, dati mukahang makikipagsuntukan. Ngayon! Ayon! Ang hinhin! Parang liliparin na ng hangin! Hay! Pawang pagpapanggap lang ang lahat! MATAUHAN KA! DI BAGAY SAYO!



Basahan ka lang!

Ang linis mo dati, ng pinunas ka na sa libaging bagay ayon! Itatapon ka nlang! Limang piso lang kaya ang basahan sa jeep! Pedeng-pede palitan anytime!

Kita mo! Kapag naka-3points shot sa court daig pa nila ang naka-jumper shot sa free throw! Walang bayad yan! Pero napaka-banal na bagay yan na kailangan pa ng basbas!

Pagkatapos mong gamitin, mabilis ka lang ipagpalit sa bago! Mga motibo talaga ng mga kalalkihan! Nakaka-shock! Kakawa ka! Kawawa tayong mga babae!

Para ka lang binaril at nawalan ng buhay. MAG-ISIP KA! GAMITIN ANG ISIP BAGO PUSO at init sa katawan!

Magtrabaho ka nalang! Kesa tinatrabaho ka sa kama!

Tama na nga! lunch-break na!

Crying Without A Real Reason

I don't think I cry without an actual reason, but…Sometimes, all the little things that have built up over past days kind of clump together into one big thing and attack me with random Emo-ness. Although, I’m not usually one for over the public emotion and might seem like a cold, dead fish most of the time. I'm just waiting 'till it builds up enough so I can get rid of it all at once…So it's not really crying without a reason…it's just all that sadness that gathered itself and called a few friends over to jump me. If that's not a pointless, annoying ramble, I don't know. I think I just like watching myself type =^^= I do this all the time, most of the time its because I think 2 deeply about something and it leads to something else, and when I try to explain it, it sounds like mush. It really helps though, to clear out your mind and just kind of move on from that, what ever it was. Whatever your interests, fears, hopes, kinks — there's always someone out there who shares them with you.


CRYING…. makes you face the WORLD HEADS UP not face down...

“Daylight hours”

My daily routine is pretty consistent. Every morning I'll wake up and battle with the thought of climbing out from under my warm cozy sheets and unwrapping myself from my blankets.

Until I heard my alarm clock's snooze function I'll finally give in and drag myself to the bathroom to jump under the shower. Standing under the cold stream of water feels so good and gives me chance to muse on what the day ahead holds and to try and remember the last thought I had as I was drifting off the night before, which right now seems like a haze but at the time I was sure was life changing.

My commute into work is pretty not that long and gives me a chance to listen to my IPOD. The cycles of the traffic lights on my route now come as second nature. On the way up to the office, if I'm feeling particularly groggy, I'll pop into the coffee deck and pick up a 3 in 1 coffee, the smells really tracking me. There I go again battling with my computer it’s as if like a lovers having a fight. But knowingly doing my daily routine stuffs.

One of my favorite parts of the day is walking into the office and around to my desk, I'll see my officemate “Yoo” her head around her computer, busy diligently replying to all the folks who inquire in to us, and joyfully great me with, "Hey Vanz or sometimes Hey Babs!!!" hahahaha. It never fails to lift me into a better mood. The rest of my day varies based on the projects I'm working on and the meetings I have scheduled on my calendar.

I always find it easier to get my head down in the early evening, when the office starts to settle down. My homeward commute gives me time to reflect on what happened during the day and of course what I’m always saying is “I don’t want to talk about my work”. LOL ... That is until the ticket inspector raps his key and ready to travel down C-5 road.

Never-ending- An inexhaustible Search. I guess, it isn't.

... we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless. I could say it all spelled out by the verse below.

Ecclesiastes: For everything there is a season,And a time for every matter under heaven:A time to be born, and a time to die;A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;A time to kill, and a time to heal;A time to break down, and a time to build up;A time to weep, and a time to laugh;A time to mourn, and a time to dance;A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;A time to seek, and a time to lose;A time to keep, and a time to throw away;A time to tear, and a time to sew;A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;A time to love, and a time to hate,A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Authentic self- not really

...How many of us have a hard time being true to ourselves? Those of us that gave up so much of our Self just so that we could be in the life of another did so at the cost of losing who we are in the process. By allowing someone else to define who we are caused us to lose our ability to discover and grow inwardly. We no longer are able to discern a truth from a lie. For many of us, we have accepted lies for so long, that finding out what is truth takes time. Never look back on your past mistakes; only look forward with a knowledge of them.

In God's Perfect Time- Introducing 'Restless Senses' Band

Most of the members of Restless Senses Jeni Tauzon- vox, synths Kath macabia- Lead guitar (backup) Leyza Deldoc- Rhythm, Acoustic guitar Vanz jose- Bass, flute (backup) acoustic guitar, Ten Derillo- Drums who are originally from different bands but collided and transformed into a new genus of music, bringing new energy and creativity to their music They have been playing together for nearly 6 months. This is very much evident in their newly released first single UTTER-LETDOWN- The changes have opened new doors for the band, inspiring them to explore more creative avenues with their music.

They started out being a band since two of the members (Kath and Vanz) was introduced to a Christian Bible Church (Grace Bible Church) After six months of waiting the band feels that the Lord was busy preparing them for His service, growing their personal spirituality and musical abilities, so that in His timing they would be prepared to carry out their music that He was calling them to become involved with Ten,Jen,Lei,Kath and vanz explaining the Lord's involvement in the band's development in these areas, in His perfect timing.

Vanz - "I don't think any of us really planned to grow up and be worship leaders, but God changed the desires of all our hearts। God has polished and buffed us to get us to the point in our lives where we know that music is just a vehicle that we can ride. It's just a small thing that God can use in us.

Ten - “There are a lot of things happening that are drawing people into worship. The biggest thing that keeps me going is watching people experiencing God in a new way".

Jen – “He has brought us songs that have not only come from a different place musically, but also from hearts that God has changed."

Lei – “Relying on confidence doesn't make sense until I bumped into realization that giving back to our creator what He deserves is the ultimate purpose of having a fellowship with my sister in Christ.”

Kath – “He grants us the ability to create music not to be worship yet to glorify His name and to horn the truth and the untold realty of customary actions within us.

THE VISION OF THIS BAND IS TO REVEAL the artistic talents that god given us. This vision of the band prays that these songs will give something to people's hearts. When God is lifted up, He draws men to Himself. He brings this band to into a new place of worship, maybe somewhere they haven't been before. We try to stretch the audience and get them to dig deeper It's hard to imagine worshipping and having God show up in the room and people not being changed."

The musical compositions of this first single UTTER-LETDOWN reflect the many and "diverse talents" of the band members, who were reaching for a unique balance of "artistry," feeling inspired and led by the influence of the Lord। The music and lyrics of found on their new SINGLE , UTTER-LETDOWN, is the result group collaboration, from talented, spiritually rooted, musicians, who are all inspired by the god’s grace to create "genuine lyrics and music that the audience can connect with,” which ultimately reflect God in a profound and moving way.

A midst of Change

I've thought and thought about man and things. If you want something and are just dead set, pleading for it with both eyes wet, tears won't bring it. Why not try sweat? A non-doer is very often a critic - that is, someone who sits back and watches doers and then waxes philosophically about how the doers are doing. It's easy to be a critic, but being a doer requires effort, risk, and change. We need to stop wishing that things would change, and start taking actions towards our dreams if we want to make it in life.

Why do some people overwork?

As overworking person may be under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive workers are the first to go. Of course, we should be involved in work that is worthwhile, fulfilling and financially rewarding but over focus can put the normal life at risk.
What can happen when you put your work/career first? YOU yourself may be feeling emotionally disconnected from you and lonely. There may be a buildup of resentment which can lead to anger and finally bitterness-towards you. This situation often leads to unhappiness and discord for the entire family. HEHEHHEE kidding me! Lol : )

Emotions? It's a Human Nature.

I can't remember on how many times on my existence on earth that i been thinking of dealing my "EMO" side. It just so happen i've been burned up on this sucks and stupid reality. Been reading a lot of psychology books not to ensure what emotion is? but on how to deal with it. According to one of the psychologists' perception "the humans are emotional beings.The emotions (joy,fear,and anger) are an inherent part of human nature. it's the richest aspects of out mental life. It is greatly diverse, as could be attested by the varying descriptions of emotions and their different shadings in all languages".
it all talk the talks. well i guess i will walk all the talks in time. In my world I'm on the ground in an emptied air. Died out and reborn.

-I D E A-

Liking an idea of someone who's merely stranger...

"Man is born crying. When he has cried enough, he dies."

"You will do and give something not because you're in a relationship but simply because you like to do it."

Nice realization and point of view. :)

Spin Up- Slighty People

Everything in life is connected somehow. You may have to dig deep to find it but its there. Everything is the same even though its different. Somehow everything connects back with your life. The faces in certain places may be different, but the situation is the same. Irony is a hidden factor that creeps around us in life, letting its presence felt only after it has left. Picture back to a year ago and the situation you were in. Look at how things are different yet somehow everything it still in someway cognate. Everything connects together to form the balance of life, to maintain structure. Change is and always will be inevitable, but everything is relative, and all the moments and times in your life will come back around again, you just might find yourself on the other side of the coin. Things are always changing, as fast as everything stays the same.

Even how hard you try to hold back, if it’s already changing you can never stop the turning process. But when it begin to stop even in singing your own praises, the person is no longer the same. It’s not accidental or happened by a chance, other than chances are things will never be the same again when it’s gone.

Genuine Self- Fake It.

How many of us have a hard time being true to ourselves? Those of us that gave up so much of our Self just so that we could be in the life of another did so at the cost of losing who we are in the process. By allowing someone else to define who we are caused us to lose our ability to discover and grow inwardly. We no longer are able to discern a truth from a lie. For many of us, we have accepted lies for so long, that finding out what is truth takes time.

Truth is a word that brings out negative reactions to many of us. Accepting truth about ourselves is difficult, especially to those of us who have been abused. But truth does set one free if we will allow it to; it is a crucial part of healing. It gives us the freedom to be who we are. We are able to come to terms with our weakness (without judgment or condemnation) and appreciate our strength. Truth gives strength; it naturally builds healthy boundaries. Truth is open; it is honest even at the risk of being vulnerable again. Truth fears no reaction. Truth is light and brings forth life. When we walk in truth, we walk in light and when we walk in light we live a healthy life.


Truth is also love. The greatest act of love towards another is living a life that is truthful. For those of us who find it difficult to love ourselves, we will find it will come more easily when we are truthful about who we are. If we walk in truth, we walk in perfect love, and if we walk in perfect love, then we do not walk in fear because perfect love cast out fear. Because we have been honest with ourselves, we are able to love ourselves with all of our imperfections, knowing that we are a work in "progress" and therefore need not have others approval.


The second part of this verse is a natural occurrence if we hold true to the first part of the verse. So, when in doubt as to our motives of not being truthful with someone….look inside, are we being less than truthful to ourselves?


Why? Because it makes them real. Authentic speakers go into a speaking engagement with the attitude of "I am grateful all these people are spending time with me and I will give them a reason to laugh, cry and otherwise enjoy themselves without worrying how I look." Inauthentic speakers will say, "Well, there’s a bunch of jerks out there, I’ll just get in there, get it over with and fool them senselessly with my appearance of great success." People who are willing to be transparent win the love and respect of others. it’s true.

“Restless in the end”

I think in life, we are obsessed with arrival. I rarely meet the person who is content with the moment they are living now. We press on, make goals, dream big, drive forward with purpose - all in pursuit of something we cannot even really define.
Yesterday, I felt a growing discontent. Today, I find that I can be content knowing that the whole story is not written, my journey is not over, my song is unfinished but surely i know, i can write those words that has been left unsaid!
Everything in life is connected somehow. You may have to dig deep to find it but its there. Everything is the same even though its different. Somehow everything connects back with your life. The faces in certain places may be different, but the situation is the same. Irony is a hidden factor that creeps around us in life, letting its presence felt only after it has left. Picture back to a year ago and the situation you were in. Look at how things are different yet somehow everything it still in someway cognate. Everything connects together to form the balance of life, to maintain structure. Change is and always will be inevitable, but everything is relative, and all the moments and times in your life will come back around again, you just might find yourself on the other side of the coin. Things are always changing, as fast as everything stays the same.
You may wonder, ‘How can I leave it all behind if I am just coming back to it? How can I make a new beginning if I simply return to the old?’ The answer lies in the return. You will not come back to the ’same old thing.’ What you return to has changed because you have changed. Your perceptions will be altered. You will not incorporate into the same body, status, or world you left behind. The river has been flowing while you were gone. Now it does not look like the same river.

Just The Way You Are -Bruno Mars (VanzCover)

Kristen Stewart Jay Leno Show Part 2

Somewhere down the line

We do tend to hurt the ones we love the most. We know that they have got hurt due to something which we maybe done unknowingly, but aren’t able to do anything about it. I had learned to choose my choices of words carefully when I am upset. Saying "Can I have sometime alone and I promise to talk about it when I cool down." instead of yelling "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" is one of the most often used opening sentence when I got home upset. Sometimes we don’t have a clue how the people we love feels, but i believe that everything happens for a reason! Along the way we might, we just might realize that what we did is wrong but when at comes down to it all whatever happens happens. Its also just out of nowhere and then you find yourself feeling all the blame, but still there’s always a way to work things out and get along the way. I think we hurt the ones we love the most because we are so comfortable with those people that we just don't think. I have been hurt enough by people I love, that I stop to think, making sure I don't repeat the pattern and hurt someone else. It happens most of the time. Love and hurt comes at the same time.

So so thing.

If people love you, be thankful that you're one of the few whom certain people chose to show their emotions to. Love does not demand to be loved back, but it doesn't mean it exists to be taken for granted. If you can't return the love you're given,, don't let it linger to grow alone. If you don't want it, refuse kindly. Love may not demand but it also deserves a heart that will better understand.

Second of Happiness you can never get b-a-c-k!

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all; live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of

“CRYPTICALLY SPEAKING: Embrace the pain, Love the hate”

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” By: Neil Gaiman
Vanzvanzvanz …..Here.
I’ve accidentally read this powerful judgment and it took me a minute; two seconds delay to think and examine myself. I let my office chair swung and my hair wafted; blown away by the electric fan in front of me, it was like a deep cold ice rushing on me in that certainty; as my mind seemed like being attached over my warm body. Stupid as it is but, it strikes me into the unfathomable feelings I have that time. I tried a lot of decoding to perfectly find the pieces inside, the answers to the unknown and the questions out of nowhere but I failed…..and then, you tried yourself to find the answer but you just can’t and you just wouldn’t coz’ fact from the matter, how many times you’d tried to push yourself in attempting to discover the thoughts on your mind..Still you couldn’t find the precise or exact words to flawlessly find the truth. What the truth tells you is as vague as the galaxy does. No specific answer and no place for existence. In the latter you end up nothing. You don’t have a choice but to embrace without losing your grip. You started it with love and simply end it with joy coz’ it’s how you have chosen it, but on how you want it is different at all.

He wasn’t, She wasn’t…. just what you have thought.